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    Stepping into the unknown

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    Zedd

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    Stepping into the unknown

    Post  Zedd on Fri Sep 03, 2010 3:38 pm

    So just the other day I told a very very dear person that I was going to break contact, so as to preserve my own sanity. I was told, in not so many words, that I was being selfish. I have to agree. I am sure that by now you will have noticed I post vey little and I watch mainly from afar not feeling to get involved.

    Please understand that this is not easy, however upon much reflection, nothing is easy anymore, is it. After all, why should it be easy, why should everything be handed to us on a plate? This is part of the whole problem we have now regarding our children where they are taught that they are winners, even if they are not. The whole thing of reward for endeavor is being denied them and so they grow into selfish self-serving imbeciles. Fortunately, not all, contrary to the controllers best efforts.

    We keep hearing the following expres​sion(in various forms) that we are the ones we have been waiting for. This is expressed in many various ways however saying and doing are two extremely different things. As the expression goes, talk is cheap, money buys the whiskey. In a way, what I am trying to say in my own limited fashion is that there is a lot of talk but that is about all.

    What does it take to walk in the paths of spirituality? What does it take to understand that we are one? What does it take to truly be awake? What does it take to allow a person to be who they are without imposing one's own expectations into their psyche?
    These are not rhetorical questions.

    Of late I have had a few challenges and unfortunately, I have not done well. I allowed a situation to take hold, to progress, to flourish when I should have been both strong and wise enough to have not allowed what transpired to have even started.

    Suddenly I realised that I was just a man, yes, nothing more and nothing less, just a man. I will say that I do try to be what I speak, I do try to be the change I want to see, I do try to love at all cost, even those who do their best to make themselves easy to despise I treat as a challenge and do my best to love them.

    This is the journey I now want to share, the first wobbly steps of me really loving myself and getting to grips with this whole thing called spirituality.

    Please be so kind as not to post anything outwardly controlled by the PTB on this thread (hmmmm, there I go presuming that anyone would actually want to post here. Time will tell.)

    There are a lot of us who say we do not meditate, or that we do not know how to.....Please do the following now....Yes, right now.....while you do this listen to the attached video.....

    Long breath out.....slowly......slowly....and as you breath out you are expelling the tension of the day, the troubles that beset you but more than this, you breath out your positive energy also and give it back to creation,to Spirit, you breath out your very essence, the unique you and you give it back to source, no guile no anger, just breath out the love you seek for yourself.

    Long breath in........ and while you breath in feel the energy of Gaia going into every fiber, every sinew of your body, feel the love you were breathing out return to you. Feel the energy of Source coursing though your veins...... Repeat the exercise until you feel at peace with all that surrounds you and you feel the joy of being whom you are....



    oh, in closing, I will finish off with "Love Light and Peace" because that is all I want in return so go crazy analysing that expression any which way you may........

    LL&P
    Z
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    mudra

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    Re: Stepping into the unknown

    Post  mudra on Fri Sep 03, 2010 4:38 pm

    Thank you for this wonderfull video Zedd.
    Truly inspiring music .I appreciated it a lot.

    And thank you too for having the courage to share
    a piece of your human journey with us .
    The burden you carry others involved carry too .
    Even if we can only judge ourselves we are never
    alone in responsability . The choices we all make
    are what allows events to manifest as they are the warp
    and weft that weave life 's tapestry .
    When we feel we have failed on our path forgiveness
    for self and others are the only thing I know that
    will allow you/others to create anew .
    In forgiveness lays true Love... the very spark of life
    itself .
    It's not so much the stumbling we did that counts but
    rather what we can learn from it , how we can get back
    on our feet , be wiser and finally Love .. Love some more.

    Love from me
    mudra
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    Zedd

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    Re: Stepping into the unknown

    Post  Zedd on Fri Sep 03, 2010 10:32 pm

    Firstly Thank you Mudra for that reply, it is greatly appreciated. Much Love to You.

    Now...There are a few things that I do not understand in this life, in no particular order:
    War
    Hate
    envy
    Greed
    avarice
    jealousy
    and lots more besides, these listed do top my list however.

    Where do these come from and are they prerequisite to this thing we call life? How do we fight these characteristics when we are being bombarded daily in a total onslaught by all manner of media with the message that these attributes are normal and in a lot of instances even good?

    There is only one way, and that is awareness, namely the awareness that you are not a product of mass media, you are not a product of the schooling system, you are not a product of the slave masters. Oh, you can be if you want, but the truth is, you are not.

    To accept responsibility for your awakening is the first step of the walk into light. To find scapegoats for our actions (such as the media) makes us slaves to the very things we are attempting to overcome.

    Today's keyword - responsibility.

    We need to take responsibility for our own actions without having to validate such actions through scapegoats.

    This is the first step towards the light. Self realisation.

    LL&P

    Z



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    ClearWater

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    Re: Stepping into the unknown

    Post  ClearWater on Sat Sep 04, 2010 2:07 am

    There have been many cosmic slaps in the face to remind me that I am human.
    I am perfectly imperfect.
    I know that there is much more that I don't know than there is that I do know...(I think...)
    As time has passed, answers have been replaced by questions and questions have begun disappearing.

    The words you've mentioned.. 'war', 'hate', etc., I know them perfectly well. I've experienced each of them personally within me, yet I still don't understand them.
    I've also experienced but don't really understand 'peace', 'love', 'humbleness', etc.

    It seems to me that (at least in regards to this process) before the cup is filled, it first must be emptied, cleaned and polished. I seem to be at the emptying stage, but finding myself to be an unwilling partner in the process at times. I seem to be harboring a fear of the emptiness that I imagine awaiting me. Perhaps I even fear the fullness I imagine following it...

    I feel I should be responsible, but find myself unsure of what that even means.
    Does it mean accountability? Does it mean always acting in a way that produces 'good' effects and avoids 'bad' effects?

    Life is a mystery and I like it like that...except when I don't.
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    mudra

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    Re: Stepping into the unknown

    Post  mudra on Sat Sep 04, 2010 10:22 am

    Zedd wrote:

    Now...There are a few things that I do not understand in this life, in no particular order:
    War
    Hate
    envy
    Greed
    avarice
    jealousy
    and lots more besides, these listed do top my list however.


    Thanks Zedd for the food for soul Cheerful

    I believe these come along from complete lack of knowingness of our unlimitedness as beings versus the limitedness of our bodies .
    When a soul confuses itself with the body than bounderies are set and with them the idea of abundance and scarcity.
    Wars are started to protect/defend our or the other's body. Hate , envy, greed, avarice, jealousy stem from the same reason.
    When bounderies are set dichotomies arise and with them the need to be right while making others wrong.
    Through meditation , contemplation or any other means that directly adress the soul a being allows itself to rise above matter and experience the absence of bounderies or Love .
    If there is one responsability we have while living this human experience it is to strive for enlightement and help/encourage others to do so too .
    There is no greater gift of peace for humanity than to come to realize who we really are for Love is our essence as well as our Awakened state.



    The flowering of love is meditation.
    ~Jiddu Krishnamurti~


    Love from me
    mudra

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    mudra

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    Re: Stepping into the unknown

    Post  mudra on Sat Sep 04, 2010 7:04 pm

    Today my attention was driven to the title of your thread Zedd.
    I have been pondering over it .
    I don't know how it is for you but if I look back at my life , all the meaningfull
    changes my path is paved with have begun with a step or rather a
    jump in the unknown . Would I not have taken them I believe I would
    have slowed down my progress.
    This makes me see life as waves . When one is about to die on the shore
    there comes the next one and you better take it if you want to keep
    in tune with the momentum and find your way home .
    It seems that by pushing you over the cliff Spirit knows exactly that what our minds
    and bodies interpret as shattering is in fact great progress for the soul.
    The mind wants us to hold onto beliefs systems while the Soul does'nt need
    any of those at all . It's free and always in the Now .

    We add a lot of confusions to our lives
    The lesson is simple the student is complicated


    And in the Now I just found this lovely piece of music that I share with you all. Cheerful

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kYyhFa_D50w&feature=related


    Love for You
    mudra
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    Zedd

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    Notes on the Mayan Calendar by Carl Johan Calleman

    Post  Zedd on Wed Sep 15, 2010 7:42 pm

    no words required - enjoy
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    Zedd

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    The Rising Heart - An Excerpt from Liminal Cosmonogy

    Post  Zedd on Wed Sep 15, 2010 8:58 pm

    This is an interesting read.
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    mudra

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    Re: Stepping into the unknown

    Post  mudra on Fri Sep 17, 2010 6:18 pm



    I stepped into the unknown today by listening to Jerry Wills :

    http://www.themistsofavalon.net/et-biokinds-and-their-characteristics-f23/jerry-wills-council-of-word-s-extraterrestrial-from-tau-ceti-t957.htm#16766

    These words he said really stood out for me :

    " If you want to bring out the best in others you need to give them the best of who you are.
    If you want to bring the best actions from others then give them something as a template , as something to respond to - that can be responded to in a positive way rather than a debate or argumentive way .
    Bring up the best in others in other words.

    We are keepers of this garden .We are part of what the Creator is and our thoughts and actions have an absolute reciprocal response so that will get back what we have put out .
    So we are trying to get the very best out of others and give them an idea that something different is possible .
    So we have to show them through our actions, not because we say it is, but because we illustrate what that possibility means . We give them something to see. We give them an opportunity to face that and to merge with this effortlessly. "


    Wonderfull message .


    Love from me
    mudra


    Last edited by mudra on Mon Sep 20, 2010 5:53 pm; edited 1 time in total
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    mudra

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    Re: Stepping into the unknown

    Post  mudra on Fri Sep 17, 2010 6:27 pm

    Zedd wrote:no words required - enjoy

    Re : calleman 's Conscious Convergence

    Thank You for this Zedd .
    I have great respect for Calleman's work .

    There is also a tape he made on the Conscious convergence that I posted here :

    http://www.themistsofavalon.net/spiritual-sanctuary-f10/the-conscious-convergence-17th-18th-july-2010-t743.htm

    Love from me
    mudra

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    Zedd

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    Re: Stepping into the unknown

    Post  Zedd on Mon Sep 20, 2010 7:05 am

    turn out the lights, close your eyes and enjoy
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    mudra

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    Re: Stepping into the unknown

    Post  mudra on Mon Sep 20, 2010 5:45 pm

    Zedd wrote:turn out the lights, close your eyes and enjoy

    Lovely piece Thubs Up

    Love from me
    mudra
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    mudra

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    Re: Stepping into the unknown

    Post  mudra on Mon Sep 20, 2010 5:52 pm



    How To Love

    More People Like Him

    You’d like Jaydee a lot. Most people do. He’s the kind of guy who listens when you talk, who smiles often, and who says things that make the people around him smile. He’s intelligent, but in a way that makes others feel comfortable. It’s the way he expresses himself in simple terms that you can understand – almost like he’s articulating the thoughts you already have in your head, but haven’t yet found the right words say aloud.

    It doesn’t matter who you are either. Jaydee always has a way of relating to you. Because, in a way, he’s been there with you all along. He can think like you, so he understands you. So many of us have limitations in our perceptions. We understand the soldiers but not the politics governing the war. We understand the people who go to the movies but not the ones who attend NASCAR races. But somehow Jaydee gets all of us. It’s his gift.

    If he hasn’t actually been to the NASCAR race you’re talking about, he’ll be honest about it – but he’ll make you feel as if he was right there with you. And once you return home after spending a night with Jaydee, you’ll catch yourself smiling and thinking that there needs to be more people like him in the world. Because if there were, there would be far less to worry about.

    Jaydee passed away today. I don’t really want to discuss the details, because honestly they aren’t relevant. It could have been a car accident. It could have been old age. We are often far too concerned with how people died, rather than how they lived. And I want you to know how he lived. He told stories – lots of stories that contained subtle insights and wisdom about our lives and the world around us. And today, I want to share with you the last story he told me before he died:

    His Last Story

    One Sunday morning when I was a little boy my father surprised me and took me to the fishing docks. But instead of fishing, like all the other little boys and girls were doing with their fathers, we sat down on the end of one of the docks and watched all the other children fish. For hours, we sat there and watched until we left without ever casting a single fishing line into the water.

    I was simultaneously sad and angry. On the drive home I told my father that I’d never forgive him for being so cruel to me. He looked at me, smiled and said, “I love you, Jaydee.” When I didn’t respond, he asked, “Did you notice how happy all the other little boys and girls were? Did you see their smiles? Could you feel the happiness in their hearts?” After a moment of silence I quickly snapped, “I don’t really care! I just want to go fishing like everyone else!” My father sighed and kept driving.

    We went back to the fishing docks dozens of Sunday mornings throughout my childhood. And each time we saw hundreds of other little boys and girls jumping and laughing and celebrating as they reeled in fish. But we still never cast a single fishing line into the water. We just sat in there on the end of that same dock and watched. And my father never explained why. But he didn’t need to. Because years later, as I entered adulthood, I suddenly realized that those mornings we spent sitting on that dock was where I learned how to Love.


    Love from me
    mudra
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    Zedd

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    Re: Stepping into the unknown

    Post  Zedd on Tue Sep 21, 2010 5:35 am

    mudra wrote:
    His Last Story

    One Sunday morning when I was a little boy my father surprised me and took me to the fishing docks. But instead of fishing, like all the other little boys and girls were doing with their fathers, we sat down on the end of one of the docks and watched all the other children fish. For hours, we sat there and watched until we left without ever casting a single fishing line into the water.

    I was simultaneously sad and angry. On the drive home I told my father that I’d never forgive him for being so cruel to me. He looked at me, smiled and said, “I love you, Jaydee.” When I didn’t respond, he asked, “Did you notice how happy all the other little boys and girls were? Did you see their smiles? Could you feel the happiness in their hearts?” After a moment of silence I quickly snapped, “I don’t really care! I just want to go fishing like everyone else!” My father sighed and kept driving.

    We went back to the fishing docks dozens of Sunday mornings throughout my childhood. And each time we saw hundreds of other little boys and girls jumping and laughing and celebrating as they reeled in fish. But we still never cast a single fishing line into the water. We just sat in there on the end of that same dock and watched. And my father never explained why. But he didn’t need to. Because years later, as I entered adulthood, I suddenly realized that those mornings we spent sitting on that dock was where I learned how to Love.


    Love from me
    mudra[/quote]

    Thank you for this Mudra, once again, it is at exactly at the right moment. Please read on and you will see why that is so. Jaydee's last story is just so spot on and I know exactly what he means.

    Hi All

    Of late, I have been in a rather strange place. Strange in that emotionally, I seem to not be in control (on the inside, though on the outside everything would appear normal). This doesn't hamper me from functioning in my everyday life as I normally do, but what it is doing is reducing me to emotions I would not normally show, nor for that matter share.
    The other thing that is happening (now you will understand why I post something with a minimum of additional wording but a cursory "no words needed") and I find myself unable to reply to mail, take calls or even to spend time out where there is a lot of interaction with the (noisy) outside world. No, I am not crashing, in case you were worrying about that, but I feel that I am recharging and that there is also a change taking place in me at the moment. The change is something I am aware of to a degree, but how big and what the outcome is I am not sure. It is good , nothing bad at all but I do owe an explanation for my continued silence (especially to you dearest Mudra).

    I though what better place that here in "Steeping into the unknown" as indeed, I feel that is just where I am going at the moment. Paradoxically, what I do know about the unknown is that it is all good and merely a time of growth. It never stops really however there are time when it is much like the growth pains of children where you just have to stop, rest, and do nothing.

    For those of you who are of a mind to, I would not be averse to a little positive energy being sent my way for a few days.

    Love to All

    Z
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    mudra

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    Re: Stepping into the unknown

    Post  mudra on Tue Sep 21, 2010 5:57 pm

    That place you speak about is familiar to me dear Zedd .. I have been there too .. Our minds locks us up is all kinds of rooms at times .. However the good news is that we don't need to stay there longer than necesserary as we always carry within the keys to unlock these places .

    "Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming... "Wow! What a ride Cheerful "

    We are all part of the journey .. the same journey . The only thing that makes it different for each of us is how we take it .
    So I guess it all has to do with our relation to energy .and how at times we build bridges with it and other times walls .
    We are the Creator Always . When we have had enough of a wall in the blink of the Heart we can turn it into a bridge.

    Warm Soul hug to You and loving and joyfull energy



    mudra
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    mudra

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    Re: Stepping into the unknown

    Post  mudra on Tue Sep 21, 2010 7:23 pm

    Enigma -Return to Innocence

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1C14Q6Anxw&feature=related


    That's not the beginning of the end
    That's the return to yourself
    The return to innocence
    Love - Devotion
    Feeling - Emotion
    Love - Devotion
    Feeling - Emotion
    Don't be afraid to be weak
    Don't be too proud to be strong
    Just look into your heart my friend
    That will be the return to yourself
    The return to innocence
    If you want, then start to laugh
    If you must, then start to cry
    Be yourself don't hide
    Just believe in destiny
    Don't care what people say
    Just follow your own way
    Don't give up and use the chance
    To return to innocence
    That's not the beginning of the end
    That's the return to yourself
    The return to innocence
    Don't care what people say
    Follow just your own way Follow just your own way
    Don't give up, don't give up
    To return, to return to innocence.
    If you want then laugh
    If you must then cry
    Be yourself don't hide
    Just believe in destiny.

    Love Always
    mudra
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    Anchor

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    Re: Stepping into the unknown

    Post  Anchor on Tue Sep 21, 2010 9:20 pm

    Zedd wrote:Now...There are a few things that I do not understand in this life, in no particular order:
    War
    Hate
    envy
    Greed
    avarice
    jealousy
    and lots more besides, these listed do top my list however.

    Core to our situation is the recognition that in our incarnated forms, with the concurrent operation of our minds, bodies and spirits, each of which are deliberately "selected" and configured in a way to present precisely the situation that you cannot fully understand everything - it is impossible to do that and maintain the current form of incarnated expression we enjoy as humans walking the earth.

    I am currently of the opinion that acceptance of this limitation can remove a big obstacle in our step wise seeking of the truth. A lot of frustration can be simply discarded, and we then find that we work effectively with the light available to us at each present moment.

    I feel this quote from the Law Of One, is relevant to the point (perhaps a little obtusely Wink )

    16.37 Questioner: I am assuming that it is not necessary for an individual to understand the Law of One to go from the third to the fourth density. Is this correct?


    Ra: I am Ra. It is absolutely necessary that an entity consciously realize it does not understand in order for it to be harvestable. Understanding is not of this density.


    The reason is, understanding precludes the needs to make our freewill choices. Freewill choices is (and the consequent learning and wisdom that flows from a review of the consequences) are what we are all about in our current forms.

    50.12 Questioner: Can you expand on the concept which is that it is necessary for an entity, during incarnation in the physical as we know it, to become polarized or interact properly with other entities and why this isn’t possible in between incarnations when the entity is aware of what he wants to do. Why must he come into an incarnation and lose conscious memory of what he wants to do and then act in a way in which he hopes to act?


    Ra: I am Ra. Let us give the example of the man who sees all the poker hands. He then knows the game. It is but child’s play to gamble, for it is no risk. The other hands are known. The possibilities are known and the hand will be played correctly but with no interest.

    In time/space and in the true color green density, the hands of all are open to the eye. The thoughts, the feelings, the troubles, all these may be seen. There is no deception and no desire for deception. Thus much may be accomplished in harmony but the mind/body/spirit gains little polarity from this interaction.

    Let us re-examine this metaphor and multiply it into the longest poker game you can imagine, a lifetime. The cards are love, dislike, limitation, unhappiness, pleasure, etc. They are dealt and re-dealt and re-dealt continuously. You may, during this incarnation begin—and we stress begin—to know your own cards. You may begin to find the love within you. You may begin to balance your pleasure, your limitations, etc. However, your only indication of other-selves’ cards is to look into the eyes.

    You cannot remember your hand, their hands, perhaps even the rules of this game. This game can only be won by those who lose their cards in the melting influence of love, can only be won by those who lay their pleasures, their limitations, their all upon the table face up and say inwardly: “All, all of you players, each other-self, whatever your hand, I love you.” This is the game: to know, to accept, to forgive, to balance, and to open the self in love. This cannot be done without the forgetting, for it would carry no weight in the life of the mind/body/spirit being-ness totality.
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    mudra

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    Re: Stepping into the unknown

    Post  mudra on Wed Sep 22, 2010 6:59 am



    Morphing times

    This is related to SiriArc's post : http://www.themistsofavalon.net/universal-lounge-f8/phaseshift-t112-75.htm#17269

    You are journeying on a train in some familiar land . The train took off slowly but now reached a good pace and everything is fine ... almost predictable . A perfect stranger steps into your wagon and sits by you ...Some words are exchanged , energy , light vibrations building an aura of their own . As you do look through the window some new trees are showing up on your left and flowery fields you had never seen before on your right . You realize your space has widened up and that you can actually walk by the lake … At about miles north your inner knowing tells you you’ll find crystal domes and further south a sacred fountain . You loose track of time and surrender completely to this enchanting place …It seems like a dream you both stepped into and yet it’s so real ..
    The train enters a tunnel .. all goes dark ..You now vaguely remember you were heading somewhere and that it seemed important … the solidity of your seat …the vibrations of the coach’s wheel on the track …the reflection of your flesh body in the mirror reminds you of this .
    You know that for a moment your spirit soared freely . You now would like to remain in the “ dream “ and you silently wonder... "Once the tunnel is passed what will your eyes see ?"


    Love Always
    mudra


    Last edited by mudra on Wed Sep 22, 2010 9:26 am; edited 2 times in total
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    mudra

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    Re: Stepping into the unknown

    Post  mudra on Wed Sep 22, 2010 8:19 am

    Neil Diamond - Be

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mgkk0Hdwmo8&feature=related


    Love Always
    mudra
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    mudra

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    Re: Stepping into the unknown

    Post  mudra on Wed Sep 22, 2010 8:35 am

    Jonathan Livingston Seagull - The Odyssey

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUZz8zscHdQ


    Love Always
    mudra
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    mudra

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    Re: Stepping into the unknown

    Post  mudra on Wed Sep 22, 2010 8:55 am

    RICHARD BACH quotes

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nKeF-gPlWLo&feature=related


    Love from me
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    mudra

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    Re: Stepping into the unknown

    Post  mudra on Fri Sep 24, 2010 5:58 pm

    Snatam Kaur - Long time Sun

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T1D3ejwQiVg&feature=related


    Love from me
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    Re: Stepping into the unknown

    Post  mudra on Tue Sep 28, 2010 2:15 pm



    BEYOND AWAKENING

    EXCERPT
    (FROM THE CHAPTER ENTITLED "A WALK IN THE RAIN")
    By Jeff Foster

    “In the gap between subject and object
    lies the entire misery of humankind.”
    - J. Krishnamurti

    As the story goes (and I can barely remember any of it now) I was walking through the rain on a cold Autumn evening in Oxford . The sky was getting dark; I was wrapped up warm in my new coat. And suddenly and without warning, the search for something more apparently fell away, and with it all separation and loneliness.

    And with the death of separation, I was everything that arose: I was the darkening sky, I was the middle aged man walking his golden retriever, I was the little old lady hobbling along in her waterproofs. I was the ducks, the swans, the geese, the funny looking bird with the red streak on its forehead. I was the trees in all their autumnal glory, I was the sludge sticking to my feet, I was my body, all of it, arms and legs and torso and face and hands and feet and neck and hair and genitals, the whole damn lot. I was the raindrops falling on my head (although it was not my head, I did not own it, but it was undeniably there, and so to call it "my head" is as good as anything). I was the splish-splash of water on the ground, I was the water collecting into puddles, I was the water swelling the pond until it looked fit to burst its banks, I was the trees soaked by water, I was my coat soaked by water, I was the water soaking everything, I was everything being soaked, I was the water soaking itself.

    And everything that for so long had seemed so ordinary had suddenly become so extraordinary, and I wondered if, in fact, it hadn't been this way all along: that perhaps for my whole life it had been this way, so utterly alive, so clear, so vibrant. Perhaps in my lifelong quest to reach the spectacular and the dramatic, I had missed the ordinary, and with it, and through it, and in it, the utterly extraordinary.

    And the utterly extraordinary on this day was awash with rain, and I was not separate from any of it, that is to say, I was not there at all. As the old Zen master had said upon hearing the sound of the bell ringing, "there was no I, and no bell, just the ringing", so it was on this day: there was no "I" experiencing this clarity, there was only the clarity, only the utterly obvious presenting itself in each and every moment.

    Of course, I had no way of knowing any of this at the time. At the time, thought was not there to claim any of this as an “experience”. There was just what was happening, but no way of knowing it. The words came later.

    And there was an all-pervading feeling that everything was okay with the world, there was an equanimity and a sense of peace which seemed to underlie everything there was; it was as though everything was simply a manifestation of this peace, as if nothing existed apart from peace, in its infinite guises. And I was the peace, and the duck over there was it too, and the wrinkly old lady still waddling along was the peace, and the peace was all around, everything just vibrated with it, this grace, this presence that was utterly unconditional and free, this overwhelming love that seemed to be the very essence of the world, the very reason for it, the Alpha and the Omega of it all. The word "God" seemed to point to it too, and the word "Tao", and "Buddha". This was the self-authenticating experience that all religions seemed to point to in the end. This seemed to be the very essence of faith: death of the self, death of the "little me" with its petty desires and complaints and futile plans, death of everything that separates the individual from God, death of even the idea of God himself ("if you see the Buddha, kill him") and a plunge into Nothingness, the Nothingness that reveals itself as the God beyond God, the Nothingness that all things are in their essence, the Nothingness that gives rise to all form, the Nothingness that is the world itself in all its pain and wonder, the Nothingness that is total Fullness.

    And yet this so-called "religious experience" is not really an experience at all, since the one who experiences, the "me", is the very thing which is no more. No, this is something beyond, something prior to, all experience. It is the foundation of all experience, the ground of existence itself, and nobody could ever experience that, even if the world lasted another billion years.

    *

    That day, there was nobody there, and yet everything was there in its place. Beyond experience or lack of it, there were the ducks flapping their little wings, there were the raindrops trickling down my neck, there were the puddles under my shoes which were now caked in mud, there was the grey sky, there were other bodies, just like mine, splashing through the puddles, some walking their dogs, some alone, some cuddling up to their loved ones, some running frantically to escape the downpour.

    And there was a great compassion. Not a sentimental compassion, not a narcissistic compassion, but a compassion that seemed to be part of what it meant to be alive on that day, a compassion which seemed to be the very essence of life, a compassion which seemed to pulsate through all living things, a compassion which said that none of us were separate from each other, that nothing at all was really separate from anything else, that your pain was identical to my pain, that your joy was my joy, not because these were principles we'd read in the Bible or taken on authority from those we held in high esteem, not because these were ideals that we tried to live up to, but because this seemed to be the way of things, this seemed to be the nature of manifestation: that we were all expressions of something infinitely larger than ourselves.

    But even the word "ourselves" seemed to imply that we were separate, and therefore this was a compassion which was beyond words, beyond language; indeed this compassion transcended any idea of “compassion”, this compassion arose from the fact that there actually is no separation at all, that separation is an illusion, that in fact we are each other, that I am you, that you are me, that we cannot be ourselves without others, that I cannot be I without you, and you cannot be you without me, not in some wishy-washy lovey-dovey sentimental way, but really, honestly: we need each other, we are bound to each other, we cannot live without each other, we cannot live without everything else. I cannot live without that tree I'm walking under, without the raindrops that have made their way down my back, without the old woman who's managed to waddle a little further down the path (she's being so very careful to avoid the puddles, bless her!), without the pond, without the ducks, without the swans, without my new coat keeping me warm, without the man with the dog who smiles and says “hi” as he walks past.

    We are bound to each other, all things are bound to all things, which is to say there are not really any separate "things" at all, there is only Oneness, only the whole, only the Buddha, only Christ, only the Tao, only God himself, and nothing exists apart from anything else.

    And so to say that on that day there was no "I" is really to say that there was only God, there was only Christ, there was only the Tao, only Buddha, only Oneness, only Spirit, and Jeff had exploded into it all, Jeff was nowhere to be found, in the sense that he was not separate from everything that arose. Jeff was just a story spun by a storyteller with a vivid imagination, Jeff was missing from the scene and yet infused into it, Jeff was nothing and he was everything, he was present to his own absence and absent to his presence, he was life itself, in its entirety, and yet he, in all truth, had died.

    And yes, there were tears. What else is there to do but cry at such a discovery? A discovery which really wasn't a discovery at all, because nothing had been found, since nothing had really ever been lost. This clarity had always been there, I'd just been looking elsewhere my whole life and ignoring the utterly obvious. God had always been right there, in the present moment, in the midst of things, but I'd spent my life seeking Him in the future. The Buddha Mind had been my own mind, always, but I'd spent years trying to attain it. Christ had been crucified and resurrected and was walking in the midst of us, drenching our lives in unconditional love, but for a lifetime I had assumed he was elsewhere, in some other world (or in this world but not in my own life, at least).

    No, nothing had been found, because nothing had ever been lost. But perhaps it was the realisation of the utterly obvious that hit me that day, the realisation that there was nothing to realise, that everything I ever wanted was always right there in front of me and always would be, that peace and love and joy were always freely available in each and every moment, that love, pure unconditional love, the love of Jesus, the love of Buddha, the love that passes all understanding was the very ground of all things, the very reason for anything being here in the first place. It was there, always there, always waiting patiently for me to return home.

    And there, in the rain, on that day, I knew finally that I was home, and what's more, that I would always be home, that I had always been home, through it all, through all the tears and the pain, through the dark times and the desperate times and all the times I thought I'd never make it, through all those times and more, the Home of all Homes had been there. The possibility of the Kingdom of Heaven was always present, the grace of God was always an open invitation, through thick and thin, through sickness and through health, through all that, world without end....

    *

    It was a very ordinary walk on a very ordinary, and very wet, Autumn day. And yet, in that ordinariness, the extraordinary revealed itself, shining through the wetness and the darkness and the sludge on the ground, shining so brightly that I was no more, that I dissolved into that brightness and became it.

    And yet, that makes it sound way too special. That day, in the rain, nothing really happened at all. It was just a very ordinary walk on a very ordinary day.

    I left through the large iron gates, crossed the road and waited for the bus, huddling in the shelter with several others.

    Nothing had changed and everything had changed. I had glimpsed something, something deep and profound and in some ways shocking, and yet something that was utterly ordinary and somewhat unsurprising. Yes, it was unsurprising that the very ordinary should turn out to be the only meaning of life, that who I took myself to be should turn out to be just a nice fairy story.

    Yes, it was unsurprising, that the divine should be in the utterly ordinary, that God should be one with the world, present in and as each and every thing.

    I boarded the bus and as the rain streamed down the dirty windows I smiled to myself. What a gift - to be alive now of all moments, to be in this body of all bodies, to be here, in this place of all places, even though it is all a dream, even though it is all impermanent, even though if we really look, we find nothing but emptiness...


    Love Always
    mudra

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    Zedd

    Posts : 51
    Join date : 2010-04-10
    Age : 62

    Re: Stepping into the unknown

    Post  Zedd on Thu Sep 30, 2010 7:01 pm

    I tried to share this earlier and received an earful.....we rave on about past present and future all the while forgetting that there is no reality, that all is in fact illusion, that we are not this fleshly mantle in which we are housed, we are not our egos, our brainwashed so-called realities....we are infinite consciousness. Nothing more, nothing less. I am done with apologising for mistakes, errors and XXXX-ups. Really. Expect no apologies from me, i am what I am, struggling to come to terms with this bullshit non-reality I find myself stuck in.
    In the meantime, there are flashes of beauty in this matrix we are caught in, there are stunning moments captured in this paradox we call time.
    There is no past present or future, there is not even a "now". All is one huge Xxxxxx-up illusion, so deal with it.
    For those who do enjoy beauty and have not become so heavenly minded they are no earthly good, enjoy the following....


    <iframe src="http://player.vimeo.com/video/14074949" width="400" height="300" frameborder="0"></iframe><p><a href="http://vimeo.com/14074949">DARK SIDE OF THE LENS</a> from <a href="http://vimeo.com/user3357787">Astray Films</a> on <a href="http://vimeo.com">Vimeo</a>.</p>
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    Zedd

    Posts : 51
    Join date : 2010-04-10
    Age : 62

    Re: Stepping into the unknown

    Post  Zedd on Thu Sep 30, 2010 7:03 pm

    PS: This is my final post so no reply needed.

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    Re: Stepping into the unknown

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