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    Humour

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    Carol
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    Re: Humour

    Post  Carol on Fri Feb 20, 2015 11:10 am

    ROFL THIS IS GREAT... CHICAGO BULLS KISS CAM... WATCH WHAT HAPPENS... http://safeshare.tv/w/sLtCVDmZnm


    _________________
    What is life?
    It is the flash of a firefly in the night, the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.

    With deepest respect ~ Aloha & Mahalo, Carol
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    B.B.Baghor

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    Re: Humour

    Post  B.B.Baghor on Fri Feb 20, 2015 12:44 pm

    Laugh Toast Laugh Great fun, thank you Carol.
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    B.B.Baghor

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    Re: Humour

    Post  B.B.Baghor on Sat Feb 21, 2015 3:01 pm


    Lolerz Original safety precautions Lolerz
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    Carol
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    Re: Humour

    Post  Carol on Wed Feb 25, 2015 1:16 pm

    The Child and His Mother


    A curious child asked his mother: “Mommy, why are some of your hairs turning grey?”
    The mother tried to use this occasion to teach her child: “It is because of you, dear. Every bad action of yours will turn one of my hairs grey!”
    The child replied innocently: “Now I know why grandmother has only grey hairs on her head.”


    Wrong Email Address

    A couple going on vacation but his wife was on a business trip so he went to the destination first and his wife would meet him the next day.
    When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick email.
    Unfortunately, when typing her address, he mistyped a letter and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher’s wife whose husband had passed away only the day before.
    When the grieving widow checked her email, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint.
    At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:

    Dearest Wife,
    Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

    P.S. Sure is hot down here.



    Will's Experience at the Airport


    After his return from Rome, Will couldn’t find his luggage in the airport baggage area. He went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that his bags hadn’t shown up on the carousel.
    She smiled and told him not to worry because they were trained professionals and he was in good hands.
    Then she asked Will, “Has your plane arrived yet?”


    _________________
    What is life?
    It is the flash of a firefly in the night, the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.

    With deepest respect ~ Aloha & Mahalo, Carol
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    B.B.Baghor

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    Re: Humour

    Post  B.B.Baghor on Wed Feb 25, 2015 2:48 pm

    Such a great thread cheers "sure is hot down here..." good one, Carol... ha ha ha Lmfao

    I was once with a mother and her 2 sons outdoors, while working as a childminder, on a bright morning.
    We went for a walk and maybe some shopping for food. I was pushing the buggy with the
    youngest son, the mother walked with her 5 year-old son. The 2 of them discussed the possible
    need to buy something. I think it was about a birthday present.

    I couldn't hear all the details of the conversation, walking behind them, but at some point, the
    mother said "I don't think I have the money for that." Her son replied "Well, in that case you do peep peep...
    and get the money out of the wall, no problem".

    * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

    Another funny child-fantasy, this time with a 3 year old girl, when we played nurse and sick baby.
    She was very fond of being a caring mother and do all kind of shoo shoo-ing and comforting,
    made up all kind of dis-eases, so that she could treat them with magic medicine.
    She had playtoy golfsticks and used them as surgical instruments, while I was on the couch with a "tender tummy".
    She entered the room and began to work her way to a lot of protocol, as a nurse annex doctor.


    First she made sure I was warm enough, put some extra blanket on me and asked if I needed to drink or
    something to eat. I took it all in and screamed with laughter inside, at her antics. She stroked my head
    and told me I was her little angel and asked if I was in pain. Which I was... of course. She was so very
    empathic and skilled in being a nurse! She took her golfsticks and began to sway them over my tummy,
    chanting and murmuring. I was in stitches, silently and at some point I really felt like a little baby and
    surrendered to that. I could take it all in and felt the tears coming, for it felt like I greatly missed that
    "feeling small".

    When she said "Now it's time for your little nap and I will leave you alone for a while" and left the room,
    I could let the tears flow. I was completely suprised by it and still also smiling, for she was wonderful!!

    Not sure if this is humor... I guess it is, in a way.

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    Sanicle

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    Re: Humour

    Post  Sanicle on Thu Feb 26, 2015 9:02 pm



    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ulP6f9zXtTs#t=193
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    B.B.Baghor

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    Re: Humour

    Post  B.B.Baghor on Fri Feb 27, 2015 7:17 am


    Two worlds coming together as friends
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    mudra

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    Re: Humour

    Post  mudra on Fri Feb 27, 2015 11:50 am



    Love Always
    mudra
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    B.B.Baghor

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    Re: Humour

    Post  B.B.Baghor on Wed Mar 04, 2015 2:35 pm


    I like this a lot, there's a way when heart and mind are playful, which is always surprising.
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    THEeXchanger

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    Re: Humour

    Post  THEeXchanger on Thu Mar 05, 2015 2:37 pm

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    Carol
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    Re: Humour

    Post  Carol on Sat Mar 07, 2015 9:11 am

    On average, an American male under 65 will have sex two to three times a week, whereas a Japanese male the same age will have sex only one or two times a year.

    This is very upsetting news to most of my friends, as they had no idea they were Japanese.


    _________________
    What is life?
    It is the flash of a firefly in the night, the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.

    With deepest respect ~ Aloha & Mahalo, Carol
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    Carol
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    Re: Humour

    Post  Carol on Mon Mar 09, 2015 10:21 am

    On average, an American male under 65 will have sex two to three times a week, whereas a Japanese male the same age will have sex only one or two times a year.

    This is very upsetting news to most of my friends, as they had no idea they were Japanese.


    _________________
    What is life?
    It is the flash of a firefly in the night, the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.

    With deepest respect ~ Aloha & Mahalo, Carol
    avatar
    B.B.Baghor

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    Re: Humour

    Post  B.B.Baghor on Mon Mar 09, 2015 1:00 pm

    I guess these friends must be pretty upset by now, Carol, for having this fact of life rubbed in twice Insanely Happy


    Where Did the Bridge Go? How Did That Bus Get Stuck There?



    Where did the bridge go? One Unlikely Explanation of the Bus on the Bridge:

    Darragh O' Malley was driving his lorry when he saw a bridge with a sign saying 10 foot maximum headroom.
    He slowed down wondering if he could drive under it or not.

    'A shure I'll give it a go', he thought only to find that his lorry got stuck underneath it.

    Darragh sat back in his seat, poured out a cup of tea and lit a cigarette.
    A policeman arrived a short time later and knocked on the cab door which Darragh immediately opened.

    'What do you think you are doing?' demanded the policeman in a sharp tone.
    'Sure I'm having me tea break', replied Darragh.

    'And what do you work at?' enquired the policeman.

    'Agh shure, I deliver bridges,' smiled Darragh, 'and my lorry has run out of petrol.'

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    B.B.Baghor

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    The Magician, an excersize in creative writing, please join!!

    Post  B.B.Baghor on Fri Mar 13, 2015 2:47 pm



    The Magician

    Have you ever found yourself in a predicament where you couldn't decide what to do?
    Here is a short story about Jack, who put himself into an inconvenient circumstance. There was
    a storm emerging in a small town in Alaska. The townsfolk warned Jack to go with his traveling
    pals and take the only bus that will leave the town.

    When he hurried to the bus stop, his friends were all gone and the bus already left the town.
    Devastated, the man was confused about what to do or what to think. He was stranded and a
    big blizzard was arriving, but there was one thing going in his favor: the fact that Jack was a
    magician. What would you proceed with at this point if you were Jack?"

    This story was a contribution on LinkedIn. You're welcome to share your comment, solution, idea,
    observation or.... magic here Thubs Up Let's create a magical Gathering



    My share in the comments to this story on LinkedIn:

    "That's a thought provoking question, a nice excersize for creative thinking, thanks Kris Chang.
    I wonder, before making magic, why Jack wasn't asked by his friends, to use his magician's skills.
    But let's presume, that magician skill is only known to Jack. Before making magic, a second thought
    pops up: why Jack himself didn't think,of using his skill, before leaving the place was the only option,
    to his friends at least......apparantly. Now I will start making magic, I'm looking at the blizzard approa-
    ching from far over the fields and I create a protective cocoon around me, an energetic shield, so that I
    can enjoy the wonder and beauty of the blizzard. As much as I am a magician, I also like to allow nature
    to take it's course and express it's force. And if I see any life threatening danger, I might possibly do some-
    thing magically, to prevent death".

    For those of you, interested in reading many more comments on this story, here's the link

    https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/magician-kris-chang-ph-d-

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    B.B.Baghor

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    Re: Humour

    Post  B.B.Baghor on Fri Mar 13, 2015 2:52 pm


    Inventive solution to create a shady lunchbreak, huhhhh?
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    B.B.Baghor

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    Re: Humour

    Post  B.B.Baghor on Sun Mar 15, 2015 2:10 pm


    A very creative design and practical as well!
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    B.B.Baghor

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    Gary Michael Dault short play Snow on Snow

    Post  B.B.Baghor on Tue Mar 17, 2015 2:51 pm

    GARY MICHAEL DAULT
    Swan house study centre for literature and the visual arts

    BRIEF CANDLES: 100 Very Short Plays, Play #68, Snow on Snow

    3/17/2015



    (quote) The curtains open to reveal a snowbound front yard. A woman—her name is Violet Bix—is swaddled about by
    an enormous overcoat and muffler, and is vigorously shovelling away as much of the snow as she can manage.
    Her husband—a poet named Adrian Bix—is standing on the front porch watching her.

    Adrian: Heavy lifting?

    Violet: Um.

    Adrian: Hard to believe it’s just two gasses mixed together and then frozen.

    Violet (shovelling): Very hard.

    Adrian: Like acres of gelato!

    Violet (shovelling): Hmm.

    Adrian: Listen, you want a cup of tea or something?

    Violet (continuing to shovel): Nowhere to set it down(end of quote).

    For further reading, go here:

    http://www.garymichaeldault.com/brief-candles/brief-candles-100-very-short-plays-play-68-snow-on-snow

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    B.B.Baghor

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    Re: Humour

    Post  B.B.Baghor on Sat Mar 21, 2015 4:52 pm

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    Carol
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    Re: Humour

    Post  Carol on Sun Mar 22, 2015 11:17 pm

    Retirement Options


    You can retire to Phoenix , Arizona where...

    1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away from your house because you found shade.

    2. You've experienced condensation on your ass from the hot water in the toilet bowl.

    3. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.

    4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.

    5. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door.

    6. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??

    OR

    You can retire to California where...


    1. You make over $450,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.

    2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.

    3. You know how to eat an artichoke.

    4. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.

    5. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.

    6. The 4 seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud, and Drought.

    OR

    You can retire to New York City where...

    1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan ....

    2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.

    3. You think Central Park is "nature."

    4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.

    5. You've worn out a car horn. (IF you have a car).

    6. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.

    OR

    You can retire to Minnesota where...


    1. You only have three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup ..

    2. Halloween costumes have to fit over parkas.

    3. You have seventeen recipes for casserole.

    4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.

    5. The four seasons are: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road repair.

    6. The highest level of criticism is "He is different, she is different or It was different!

    OR

    You can retire to The Deep South where...


    1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.

    2. "Y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural.

    3. "He needed killin" is a valid defense.

    4. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Joe Bob, Betty Jean, Mary Beth, etc.

    5. Everywhere is either: "in yonder," "over yonder" or "out yonder".

    OR

    You can retire to Colorado where...

    1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.

    2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home, so he stops at the day care center.

    3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.

    4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.

    OR

    You can retire to the Nebraska where...

    1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.

    2. Your idea of a traffic jam is three cars waiting to pass a tractor.

    3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.

    4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at.

    OR

    FINALLY You can retire to Florida where...


    1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.

    2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars.

    3. Everyone can recommend an excellent cardiologist, dermatologist, proctologist, podiatrist, or orthopedist.

    4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.

    5. Cars in front of you often appear to be driven by headless people.


    _________________
    What is life?
    It is the flash of a firefly in the night, the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.

    With deepest respect ~ Aloha & Mahalo, Carol
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    Carol
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    Re: Humour

    Post  Carol on Mon Mar 23, 2015 1:26 pm

    HUMOR....
    Ron, an elderly man in Florida, had owned a large farm with a big pond in the backyard for several years. The pond was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nicely with picnic tables, horseshoe pits, and citrus trees.

    One evening the old farmer decided to go down and check on the swimming hole, because he hadn’t been to that area of the property in a while. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.

    As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence, and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him, “We’re not coming out until you leave!”

    Ron frowned, “I didn’t come down here to watch you ladies swim naked.” Rob held the bucket up high and said, “I’m here to feed the alligator.”

    Some old men can really think fast.


    _________________
    What is life?
    It is the flash of a firefly in the night, the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.

    With deepest respect ~ Aloha & Mahalo, Carol
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    B.B.Baghor

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    Re: Humour

    Post  B.B.Baghor on Sat Mar 28, 2015 5:38 pm


    That's what happens when you fart in a car as small as this one Lmfao
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    B.B.Baghor

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    Re: Humour

    Post  B.B.Baghor on Sun Mar 29, 2015 5:10 pm


    Pious Cat on his mat
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    Carol
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    Re: Humour

    Post  Carol on Wed Apr 01, 2015 10:16 pm

    Chinese in Australia

    After living in Shanghai for 50 years a Chinese man decides to move to Australia. He buys a small piece of land near Mt Isa. A few days after moving in, the friendly Aussie neighbor decides to go across and welcome the new guy to the region.

    He goes next door but on his way up the drive-way he sees the Chinese man running around his front yard chasing about 10 chooks. Not wanting to interrupt he decides to put the welcome on hold.

    The next day, he decides to try again, but just as he is about to knock on the front door, he looks through the window and sees the Chinese man urinate into a glass and then drink it. Not wanting to interrupt another Chinese custom, puts the welcome on hold for
    yet another day.

    A day later he decides to give it one last go, but on his way next door, he sees the Chinese man leading a bull down the drive-way. The Aussie bloke can't handle this, so he goes up to the Chinese man and says, 'Jeez mate, what the hell is it with your Chinese customs ? I come over to welcome you to the neighborhood, and see you running around the yard after hens.. The next day you are pissing in a glass and drinking it, and then today you have your head so close to that bull's arse, it could just about XXXX on you.'

    The Chinese man is very taken back and says,

    'Sorry sir, you no understand .. These no Chinese customs I doing, these Australian Customs.'

    What d'ya mean mate' says the Aussie,

    'Those aren't bloody Australian customs'.

    'Yes they are', replied the Chinese man, 'travel agent man say to become true blue Australian, I must learn chase chicks, drink piss, and listen to bull XXXX.'


    _________________
    What is life?
    It is the flash of a firefly in the night, the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.

    With deepest respect ~ Aloha & Mahalo, Carol
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    Carol
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    Re: Humour

    Post  Carol on Sun Apr 05, 2015 10:05 pm

    A COWBOY TOMBSTONE:
    Here are the Five Rules for Men to Follow for a Happy Life that Russell J. Larsen had inscribed on his headstone in Logan , Utah . He died not knowing that he would win the "Coolest Headstone" contest.

    FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW FOR A HAPPY LIFE:

    1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, cooks from time to time, cleans up, and has a job.

    2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh.

    3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust, and doesn't lie to you.

    4. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed, and likes to be with you.

    5. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other or you could end up dead like me.


    _________________
    What is life?
    It is the flash of a firefly in the night, the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.

    With deepest respect ~ Aloha & Mahalo, Carol
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    B.B.Baghor

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    Re: Humour

    Post  B.B.Baghor on Mon Apr 06, 2015 7:20 am

    Post humour by Carol: A COWBOY TOMBSTONE:
    Here are the Five Rules for Men to Follow for a Happy Life that Russell J. Larsen had inscribed on his headstone in Logan , Utah .
    He died not knowing that he would win the "Coolest Headstone" contest.

    Big Grin 2 Cheerful  Lmfao  Lmfao  Heh heh  Thank you, Carol, great to see you post here, a breath of fresh air.
    By the way, did you see what I've found, for your interest in your daughter's Mayascope in the thread Operation Scrambleweb post 97?
    Hope you had a nice celebration, on her birthday April 4

    On April 4 the Solar Seal was Red Dragon 1 Kin 1 the first Solar Seal of the Tzolkin count of 260 Kin.
    I think I've already mentioned that, today April 6th is the Blue Night 3 Kin 3
     Cheerful

    Sponsored content

    Re: Humour

    Post  Sponsored content


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